explosion. not really.

i HATE it when i rely on other people to do something, and they dont do anything. and then, when the the deadline comes up, they start freaking out and bossing people around about it. *sigh* I guess its my fault for relying on myself. this ninth grade year has been really informative, and now i know what NOT to do next year.

Thought you changed. bullsh**

ooooooh... diss (took us 1 week to think of that)

A Batman UpsideDown Vampire Bloody Zombie Buried Old Tree Moldy Crusty Dusty Old Mr. PeanutButter Oreo Black Dirty South Pacific Ocean Tide Clorox Cleaning Bubble Bathwater Warm Rain Cloud Sky Blue Sea Cow Milk Snake Horse Fly Spider Monkey
<<<

A story of 2 friends.

sorry for the spelling

A girl and a boy are sitting at a table, wondering how they're going to get through 9th grade. well, the boy is anyway. the grisl introduces herself to him, and they immediatly strike up a conversation. for the next three days, they talk to each other, and make each other laugh, and somehow, someway, they end up becoming friends. he doesnt see her for another 2 or 3 weeks, but he knows that when he sees her again, they will just strike up a conversation as if there wasnt any time that they hadnt seen each other. they become best friends, her saying that she felt that he knew her emotions better than she could convey them, and that he helped her with her problems. she was always the more affectionate one, and though he had the same feelings of friendship he never conveyed them to her. she didnt know that he always felt like he was useful to someone when she told him her problems, and that he loved her with all his heart. they vowed to never break apart, and that they will be friends forever. they had their major downs, and their major ups, but their bond was never broken, they always gravitated toward each other... they used to always pretend she was black, and used to have the best times... but somehow... somehow... the thing that they promised would never happen, and the thing that he was scared of most, happened. in the midst of school, and family, and other friends... they forgot about each other... until one moment... they glimpsed each other out of the corner of their eyes, and they realized, in haste, that something was wrong... they grabbed frantically at each other, but it was too late... the bond was broken... this story is still ongoing, but they know that they need to work on this, they need to work on this now, otherwise it will never work out... and the boy oh-so-desperately wants this to work out... so very much...

I love you, Chiquiada

Lonely Day

just a little poem
it doesnt make much sense in the literal perspective
here it is

Such a lonely day
And its mine
The most loneliest day of my life
Such a lonely day
Should be banned
It's a day that I can't stand
The most loneliest day of my life
The most loneliest day of my life
Such a lonely dayShouldn't exist
It's a day that I'll never miss
Such a lonely day
And its mine
The most loneliest day of my life
And if you go, I wanna go with you
And if you die, I wanna die with you
Take your hand and walk away
The most loneliest day of my life
The most loneliest day of my life
The most loneliest day of my life
Such a lonely day
And its mine
It's a day that I'm glad I survived

A helmet, a toy, and a bird

I'm going to miss her, miss her so much.

The only thing she said to me was "No, you fold it this way; Ahh, no, you need to fold it flat; okay?; okay!; you're welcome."

All I said to her was "ohhhhhhh" and "thank you!!!" and "I'm sorry, i get it now".

All she did was help me fold them, mostly me out of everyone, because she was the closest person to me, and I'd needed all the help i could get.

All i did was give her a fist pump and an awkward hug, and a pose for a picture.

For over 30 minutes we only exchanged about 50 words, ten different words in the variety. every minute she became more open, and every minute she became more beautiful.

It's probably a good thing that she's leaving forever.

If i ever got to know her, my heart would probably be broken even more.

How can someone be so caring, so caring to a person that she's never met before?

Me, a total stranger.

Totally guided and safe when my hands were embraced with hers.
Doesn't matter that i was just folding paper.

This a quote from Lisa I'a's email signature(is that how does her last name is supposed to work with an apostrophe S?)...

"To meet a stranger and fall in love is true love."

Holy crapp.

Is that what's happened to me?

Is that what this feeling really is?

I swear, i honestly cant get her out of my mind, and i miss her already.

Crap.

She smelled like gentle citrus and vanilla

Not the usual overbearing scent of oranges...

But something else, that just sent me into a peaceful calm.

I don't think it was just her scent, but her demeanor...

So kind and caring and yet so calm and collected...

I've never met a girl with that combination of a personality

But she's leaving, to go to her real life...

I just hope she remembers me...

Yesterday, I left with only her name

And an awkward, but (pleasantly) long hug.

Goodbye

.....

I'll miss you.

W/e

What a pain. everything is always my fault. if the computer breaks, its my fault; if the TV is messed up, its my fault, if the stupid food gets over boiled, its my fault. and then, when they wanna talk to me, they always say, "oh, nobody's ganging up on you". No, you all just blame everything on me, and say that there's so much stress because of me. and when i tell you something, its never the truth. nope, i just tell a lie, because my good old mouth just feels like it. whenever i do something wrong, oh, there's never any innocence, or any forgetful thinking, im being malevolent on prupose, it's all just because. and i can never try to explain myself because it's aaalllll just bull, right? or if i still try to, you like to bring up the fact that im always getting in trouble, and that i suck in school, which is stupid, when i tell you how school is all the time. and that not even hearing you when you come in the house and not saying hi is me just being a jerk. and i absolutely love how you say i never try to effing change, when im killing myself trying to be a different person, so that all of you dont have to go through all this crap that i wont list in public cause itll take too long to write. pah. i cant beleive this. since ive come up here 8 years ago, ive had to deal with a person with a horrible temper, a hypocrite, and someone who says they couldnt carw less. i apologize for the spelling, i cant really see now. ahaha, this is the exact reason i hate crying. hah, i shouldnt write that, because then youll just say that im being a basby and need to get a backbone weont you? w/e. you always say to think about things from someone else's piont of view, to see how it'lkl affect others around me, but you havent done jack sh** to see how i might f**ing feel. is it because im the youngest, you just think that im being stupid, and i dont have anything important to say? ahaha, well anywaay, you should start thinking about how i feel, because my anger is starting to shine through. im normally a happy, talkative, energetic person, but lataely, ive been to mad to be that. even my friends are staring to notuice. they sasy that im an angry person, and i sure as f*** amn startinmg to be. this isntr alll i have tos ay, biut i cant seee through mhy tears, and ik cant really spell whhen i cxant see. im gna have to come back and spell check all this.